Do you find yourself saying things like ‘if I had tried, I would have graduated top of my class’, ‘if I really wanted to I could be CEO’, ‘I could do a better job than __ if I was ready’?
Sentiments such as these are very comforting. However, they are also very destructive and terribly reflective of a detrimental mindset that inhibits success in all facets of life…
Firstly, it reflects the fallacy that our potential has any genuine weight or importance. To an extent, of course out potential has some value. We are usually aware of our potential; it is valuable to acknowledge the feats we can/cannot reach. However, from an objective perspective – essentially no one cares unless you have the work ethic, commitment and stamina to carry it out. The value in our potential is revealed when coupled with will power.
Our worth is not dependant on our potential, it is dependent on our actions.
Secondly, it allows us to relinquish ourselves of any responsibility in our lives. You shift the underlying guilt, shame or regret onto other factors and blame the universe instead of holding yourself accountable. It is inevitable that at times, we will not commit as much as we should, or we take the easy way out, give up and admit defeat. It happens, don’t beat yourself up about it. However, acknowledge and take accountability for the reality that you did not step up in the way you should have.
It is easier to not try at all (or claim we don’t care), than to try and fail. However, whilst it may be easier to brush off your accountability – there is nothing to gain from it other than the preservation of your ego, and there is everything to gain from the latter.
So, the question is – if you can, then, why aren’t you? If you are capable, then why don’t you fulfil what you claim you can do?
The reality is if you were capable and had the legitimate skillset/mindset, then you would probably be in the positon you claim you could so easily fulfil. So, where do you go from here? What is holding you back and how do you overcome these hurdles?
Usually, part of what is holding you back is holding onto this self-destructive outlook that we are not in control of our lives.
Things to keep in mind:
- laziness doesn’t exist unless you genuinely do not care
- Talk is cheap; who we are is ultimately defined by actions, not in words
If you care, then there are probably several underlying reasons you feel as though you cannot motivate and commit to pursuing what you want, there are several things you can do to help yourself overcome this…
- Consider seeing a psychologist or councillor. Contrary to popular belief you don’t have to be unhappy or depressed to seek guidance in a mental health professional – their services can be immensely helpful in breaking down why you lack motivation, addressing a misplaced apathetic attitude, or a lack of direction and indifference. Your inertia probably has a far less simplistic explanation than you’d think.
- Write down achievable goals. Elaborate on the baby steps you will need to day on a day to day basis to accomplish it.
- Find inspiration and get excited. Start pursing what excites you, but remember that the energy and passion won’t always be there to keep you going, it needs to be coupled with commitment and a strong work ethic to sustain itself.
- There is no time like the present. Start now. 3 months from now you’ll have wish you had started today. Everyone starts somewhere, so instead of being dragged down by the feeling you aren’t as ahead as you would like to be, remember that the only way to change that is to make the most of the present moment.